Freshmen: Today we had a seminar on Act III of Romeo and Juliet. Your homework tonight is to get on turnitin.com and look at your division and classification essays. Read through the comments - both my blue ones and the purple grammar comments generated by the website. On today's post, post a comment that is a paragraph long (i.e. several sentences) in response to the following prompt: What did you learn about writing? You can respond to what others have said in your comment as well.
Sophomores: Today we had a seminar on Book II of The Poisonwood Bible, took some quizzes, and in general had a great time. Aside from continuing your reading, your homework tonight is to get onto turnitin.com and read the comments posted there about your Amir hero essay - both mine and the purple ones generated by the website. Reflect on the comments. On today's post, post a comment that is a paragraph long (i.e. several sentences) in response to the following prompt: What did you learn about writing? You can respond to what others have said in your comment as well.
CNF: Today we studied King Corn and related it to Part II of The World Without Us.
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62 comments:
After reading the comments made by Mr. Baird and by Turnitin, i now more precautions for writing future essays. First, format is key. Making headers and sentences in correct format is very important. This includes no run ons, correct punctuation, and header format. Sentance format is also something that is crucial fro the reader to understand clearly and absorb all of the imformation that you are trying to give.
To be completely honost, I learned that I should really read over my essay before hitting print, because as I read the comments I could see the easy mistakes that could have been avoided. I also found out, that you need to keep your essay even. If you are describing multiple groups, and you give one a title, the rest should come with a title as well. Lastly, I was informed that you shouldn't separate lines on your own, rather have the computer do it for you. It's just a lot visually appealing.
Oh and my name is not a proper word, and that I should, "...use a dictionary or spellcheck..."
Rosbitt
1st period
After reading the comments made by Mr. Baird and Turn It In I learned that I should I be more careful with my conversations because they can be confusing to readers. I also learned I need to re-read my paper before I turn it in because I made a lot of careless mistakes that could have been easily avoided. I also need to work structuring my sentences better.
I learned that even if you proofread you essay several times before you submit it there will almost always be some sort of mistake. Usually after i proofread my papers a couple times i have my dad proofread it even then will both me and him miss certain things. I also learned that if i'm going to say certain things that i need to find some sort of research to back up what i just said especially if its a statistic of some sort that seems awfully high to others. I've also learned that i need to pay very close attention to run on sentences as well as my grammar. like David it'll make me more cautious as well while writing my essays.
Sean Lambourne
1st Period
The main thing I took away from the comments on turnitin.com was the importance of revision. Most of my mistakes were simple grammar errors that could have been easily avoided had I read through my paper more carefully. I either added an extra article, or omitted a comma in a crucial place; small mistakes, but they really added up and took away from the overall strength of the paper.
I agree with Rozzbit that alot of what i learned from Mr. Baird and turnit, that i should read over the essay before i hand it in to catch all of the little mistakes that could have been easily avoided. Another thing i learned is that when you are putting the lead and conclusion techniques you should really fallow it. alot of times i started to use a different technique than what i sayed.
Atticus Mannebach
After reading the comments by Turnitin and by Mr. Baird, I would have to agree with David that format is the key. Spelling words right and making sentences complete is very important. Also you should give a lot of examples and details to help your reader understand your train of thought. What I learned about writing is to have a good format, and help your audience understand what you are writing.
Danny O'Brien Period 1
After reading the comments made by Mr. Baird and Turnitin.com, I learned that I should spend a little bit longer on my essays. Turnitin pointed out so many grammar errors in my work I was shocked and almost confused. For my essay, a good conclusion was what I lacked. I ended with a three sentence paragraph, which didn't wrap up my essay very well. I do this a lot because I am so excited to get it over with, I just don't want to try at the end, even though that is the most important part. So next time I'm writing an essay I will make sure to do that. Other than that, this division and classification stuff is sort of fun!
Oh and Rozzie...that is HILARIOUS! It said Shubella was a real word though, so I'm totally good; most things say my last name is spelled incorrectly, but turnitin.com seemed totally fine with it! :)
Shubella
1st period
After reading what Mr. Baird had to say aswell as turnitin.com I now see how many fragments I use. ALso that some of my details are sometimes irrevalant. Also next time i'm writting an essay like this I need to look more into my comparisons of things. Some of the people I showed were different was just common sense.
I also have to agree with Rosbitt, because I need to read over my essay before I submit it. I had some careless mistakes like run on senescence and I have to reread before turning something in. I also need to work on some punctuation, i had a few of those mistakes. I had simple mistakes that I think if i was more cautious I would not have those mistakes. I forgot the lead and conclusion techniques. So for the future I would need to proofread my essays before turning papers in. Also, my title was more of a label so I need to work on that as well. Plus the format of the paper.
Carlos Hernandez
1st period
After reading the comments left by Mr. Baird and Turnitin.com, like many other students my problem was that I need to proof read my paper. I was surprised because pretty much all of my mistakes were either fragments or simple grammar mistakes. I think if I had read over my paper more I might have noticed my mistakes. I like Sean's idea of having a parent proof read it. I also think I could have done my lead better. It was meant to be a Background, but after reading over it I don't think it made much sense.
Oh and Rosbitt, they told me I spelled my name wrong too.
Maclaine
1st period
After Reading over the comments made by Mr. Baird and by TurnitIn i know realize that i need to proofread a little bit better. Another thing that i saw was that i need to watch the way that I'm spelling things. Third i need to make sure that my paper make sense before i print it. The thing that i learned most from the comments is the most important thing to do is proofread before turing it in.
After reading over the corrections made on my essay, I learned I can improve on a few things. First, I should always proof read well for grammar,punctuation,and spelling mistakes. Second, I should make sure I have used correct format, because format can really effect the organization of the essay. Also, I should be more aware of placing commas where they are needed, and where they are not. I made simple mistakes, and fixing them in the future will really improve my writing.
Bryn Petron
Peiod 1
Well I learned a lot about writing from this piece alone. One necessity is a good title. If the title doesn't work, the essay looks bad. Another important element in writing a good essay is having smooth transitions. I need to improve on this. Another problem in my essay was that there were too many fragments and article errors. I've noticed this in past essays. Lastly, I agree with other students when they said they needed to proofread. I had a lot of mistakes that could have easily been fixed if I had went back through my essay.
I learned that everybody needs good punctuation placement. And that it is easy to get carried away with some like commas, and periods. And that while typing to not get carried away with capitalization and to always take more time in proofreading my essay before I submit it. I also realized it is easy to get off of topic. And to go back and re-read what you wrote. in case you had happened to write about something different. And also to take your time on the essay. Just because it has a due date does not mean that you have to stress to get it in in time.
I have learned that I need to take more time looking at what I was trying to say. Sometimes I tried to say something, and it would sound good in my head but when I wrote it, it didn't say what I thought. Also I need to work on my titles more and think of better ones.
Montana
8th period
I have learned to read over my papers before I send them out. I need to take more time to spellcheck and to maybe have someone else read over it and see if they get what I am trying to say. I also need to think of better Titles. Think of some more intersecting ones.
Montana
8th Period
I have learned to read over my papers before I send them out. I need to take more time to spellcheck and to maybe have someone else read over it and see if they get what I am trying to say. I also need to think of better Titles. Think of some more intersecting ones.
Montana
8th Period
After looking over the comments, i wasn't really surprised because they're mainly the mistakes i usually make. I find the main problem is i should prepare for the essay more instead of rushing it, and also i should make outlines more often to help get the point across in my essays. Along with that i often forget to title my essays and make common punctual errs.
Minta Siripong (5th per.)
Reading over the comments, one of the first things that came to mind is just how versatile writing can be. Well it must of course conform to basic rules and standards of arguments, there are so many different ways to answer a question, and so many different questions. One of the things I took away is that the basic answer to a prompt may be the same, but the direction of discussion, the methods used, and the evidence may be completely different. This is not to say that there is no right or wrong answers, or that answers are solely opinion based. It’s just easy to forget the potential in a question.
Joseph per 8
The comments on my essay showed me that I was lacking detail within the details. When I talk about specific events or people I should of provided more backround on the subject. I should of also written the essay not assuming that the reader knew what I was talking about or who the characters I was refrencing were. Overall I should of provided a better understanding for the reader to go off of.
Paul Tabish
Period 8
After reading the comments, I have come to realize that I sometimes create stylistically awkward moments in my essays, due to the way I word them. I have learned that one of the most important aspects to remember while writing something is not only to read through the essay in my head, but also out loud, which is the only way to avoid this mistake. If one only reads through the essay in their head, they may unknowingly add words to what they see, causing the essay to sound correct, when in reality, those words are not there, which can create confusion for the reader. Another important aspect, to keep in mind, is to make sure that the correct punctuation is used, as it too can cause confusion to those who read the essay.
Raquel Markham
8th Period
I really like when teachers leave comments on my pieces of work. In a high school setting, sometimes its hard to tell if your writing is progressing and if the piece you wrote is any good. Reading over comments left my Mr. Baird, I have been able to see that my pieces contained the information that was asked for. I also was able to see how versatile writing can be and how I can improve my writing. Reading the comments of Turnitin, i've been able to see the little commas and articles that I've missed or misused. I think my writing style can be extremely improved.
Francesca Botto
Period 8
Like other people who have commented have pointed out, it's usually the small things that we fail at while writing an essay. These small things should be the things we worry about. While reviewing my corrected essay, I noticed that I use a good amount of slang, words that I hold in my vocabulary, but the dictionary doesn't. The next thing I need to work on is avoiding run-ons. Punctuation has so much to offer us besides commas. I need to use the powers of the semi-colon more often. All these little things ultimately add up and confuse the reader, making your essay forgettable.
I learned that the number one thing to do is proofread. It is good to second guess yourself to make sure there are no errors. Second is that TurnItIn changes the format of things. Especially the header. It adds extra spaces. Third is to make sure the paper flows and answers the topic. It has to answer the question in full and make sure it makes sense.
Nate Klebbba
Period 8
After looking over the comments made by Mr. Baird and Turnitin.com I've noticed that the mistakes I made where simple ones that could have been avoided if i have reread the essay before submitting it. I also learned that i must inform the reader on the topic I'm writhing about so to make it more clear. Also i need to think about what I'm trying to tell the reader to not let the message be misinterpreted. Really the most important thing I learned is to always revise my material, and to start early on assignments so to have enough time to better it.
After reading the comments by Mr.Baird and by Turnitin, I learned that I need to improve sentence structure. I also learned I need to improve write more details and examples.
Like Ben Keller I too should have revised my essay if not once a few times. I would have had my dad revise the essay too. I also should have had less summary. I spent a great deal of my essay summarizing the book when I should have, as you said, "Interwoven summary and commentary and bounced and forth between the two". I think i generally rushed this essay and in return it wasn't my best work. Next time I will be sure to revise multiple times and be sure to interweave my commentary and summary well.
Thomas Ashton
Period 8 English
What I learned from Mr.Baird and turnitin.com , is that I should add more context. Basically I should add more context so my reader isn't lost and confused at the beginning of my paper. Also because if my reader had never read the book they would have no idea who Amir is and why he was a hero. What I should have done is , write a brief summary at the beginning explaining who was the creator , what it was about etc.
Another thing I learned was that I should carefully proofread my paper. Because I made silly mistakes I could have fixed if I had looked at my paper more closely.
Jessica Weyman
period 5
The comments made on my essay on turnitin.com showed me that while my essay is good it can be improved simply by correcting run-on sentences or fragments. One thing that many other people pointed out was the importance of revising, or in my case, proofreading. I could have made my essay much better by putting commas or periods where they need to be and correcting my punctuation when citing a source. Another thing I can work on is giving a better background to my essay. While I know what I am writing about, my readers may have no clue. Overall fixing grammatical errors and providing my reader with a good background is something I will improve on in my next essay.
Reading through Mr. Baird's and turnitin.com's has taught me many ways to improve my writing. First, revision is a very important part of writing an essay and it is important to read over your paper carefully. I also learned that rather than relying on spell check, reading through your paper can reveal many errors that spell check can't. Another thing i learned is that it is important to have good depth in a paper and that depth is a much needed component to get your point across.
The corrections given to me on the website turnitin.com, have taught me many valuable writing techniques and how to make my essays better. An issue I seem to have when writing is straying from my original idea. For example, in this previous essay, the main concept in my paper was cowardice. However, I always seem to state the idea but never end up coming back to the idea. I learned I need to focus my essays on the main concept and try not to bring in too many other ideas as well. I also learned that I need to read through my essay before turning it because in my previous essay I had many phrases that did not seem to fit well within the text. Overall, taking more time writing and editing my essays while maintaining focus will help me to become a better writer.
After reading the comments on turnitin.com and from Mr. Baird, I have learned that I need to cut unnecessary words in order to improve my writing. A lot of times it is easy to get caught up in the details of different situations I am writing about. Although many times detail is good to include when telling a story, too much detail is bad. I feel that if I start to edit my essays using the "cut to the bone" idea, my writing will be much clearer. Another way I can improve my writing to make it clearer is by reading my essays aloud to make sure there are no awkward sentences. Many times I begin to write about something that sounds great in my head but doesn't get portrayed in the same way on paper. I believe by using these techniques more often my writing will improve greatly.
Abby Isaacson
Period 5
This essay emphasized the importance of length in my essays. Mr. Baird gave extremely useful comments, not only about grammar but about flow of the essay. This essay also taught me that simple language not only makes an essay easier to read but easier to write.
Lizzie Loughridge
Period 5
I always like reading Mr. Baird's comments on turnitin. They help me see the strongest points in my essay, and the areas that could use more evidence or context. It is really helpful to see direct feedback like that rather than a general comment at the end of a printed essay. The feedback from turnitin is usually a lot less helpful, but it can sometimes catch a grammatical error. However, turnitin suggestions have to be read carefully because a lot of times they are wrong about grammatical errors. I pay a lot more attention to Mr. Baird's comments; I think it is a great way to learn about writing. It's one thing talking about writing techniques in class, but seeing helpful comments make it a lot more concrete.
Paul O
5th period
The comments left by Mr. Baird and the turnitin website have both helped me dramatically. I have learned that I need to elaborate more on my ideas, and that I should quote more from the texts. I should also give a background on the texts before writing, as people who have not read the book would apparently be confused. From now on, I'll try my best to incorporate these ideas into my writing, and try my best to make my writing better over all.
D Oliver
8th Period
After reading Mr. Baird's comments about my essay, I learned two very important things about writing. First of all, I learned that to be a successful writer I must be able to separate subtitles into their own paragraphs. I usually write huge paragraphs that have many subtitles contained in it. Another thing I learned was that I should add more detail about a quote after using it in my essay. I usually write the quote and then leave it alone. I should have had a few more details and observations backing up the quote.
Dash Anderson
Period 5
After I checked my division and classification essay on turnitin, I always seem to forget to put in the leads and conclusion techniques is used. I have also learned that spell check and grammar check aren't always the most reliable. I now know that rereading my writing is important because I may have made some typos without realizing it.
I learned that before submitting a paper, it is important to check that not only punctuation is correct, but also other grammar rules that are harder to catch like subject verb agreement. I also learned that I need to make sure I am using the right preposition. Interesting titles make interesting papers, as my comments showed. I need to be more creative with my titles, and tell what lead and conclusion techniques I am using. As everyone else has said, this just showed me how important proofreading papers can be in catching the little mistakes.
I realized after reading the comments on Turnitin.com that I could definitely stand to work in more context to my essay. I talked a lot about Amir having a really heroic act, but I never actually specified what that action was. Someone who was reading my essay but had never read the Kite Runner would have been pretty confused. I also learned that I can ramble quite a bit, as I mad multiple run on sentences. I could fix that pretty easily, but for some reason I didn't in this essay. That's what next time is for. Led Zeppelin and the Beatles are the best bands out there.
Today I learned that I needed to italicize my titles. Because when I am writing that is not always something that pops in my head to do. Also I generally put my lead and conclusion techniques but this time it must have just slipped my mind. My lead was a quote and my conclusion was an echo, but that did not end up on the top of my paper. The comments were very helpful for thinking of another paper we are going to write when we have time. Because that will help me in the future and maybe even with extra credit. Your comments made a lot of sense Mr. Baird. I see what I left out and need to do more of. Thank you!
Erin Pitt
5th period
By reading the comments made by Mr. Baird and Turnitin.com I learned mainly that I really need to proof read my writing before I submit it. I also learned that I need to provide more context early on in my essays and not just jump in, assuming that the reader already knows the context. I enjoy getting feed back on my writing in this way because like Paul said it is easier to pay a attention to Mr. Baird's comments on Turnitin.com rather then getting an essay back with little to know written corrections. I learned that I really should re read my paper before I submit it or hit print. But most of all I have learned that I need to add more context at the beginning of my papers so that the reader knows exactly what I am talking about.
After reading the comments about my essay I learned a lot of things I should do to improve my writing. One of the most important things I need to do is to read my paper out loud. Doing this will help me hear how my paper sounds and it will help me catch grammar mistakes. I also need to further develop the ideas in my essays. I learned that a division and classification essay is a harder genre for me to write. It was difficult for me to come up with an idea that I could write about.
When writing an essay like this one, it is best to go over what I write and make sure that it is clear to the writer what point I'm trying to make. If it is not clear, the reader could be confused on what I am saying. I have to make sure that quotes being used go along with my thesis and it is clear why I used it.
After I read the comments on turnitin.com, I noticed how much my essay lacked in depth. I'm typically do well on essays, but every now and then I notice one that lacks in some aspect. I wrote this essay assuming that the reader had read the book I had read, so I didn't give many details to help explain what I was talking about. I also realize I should make sure my essay has everything on it after submitting it to Turnitin, or risk that it does not include, for example, my header. As for the comments from Turnitin - I'm sure most of you agree with me that they often don't make sense. Because it isn't a real person revising the essay, it tries to correct phrases and anything that doesn't seem normal to the computer.
The comments made by Mr. Baird and turnitin.com have revealed to me that I must be sure I am formatting things in the proper way. I learned that I often forget hyphens and have been known for a run on sentence or two. I also learned that when beginning one's essay with a quote is important that you either follow block citation form or just add that quote to your first paragraph. This poses the question, does centering your first paragraph around a certain quote count as a quote lead? I have learned not to reference random things towards the end of the essay as it shifts the readers attention away from the main subject. Next time I write an essay I will take care to make sure the grammar is correct and that I am not throwing random things in there.
I realize after looking through the comments on the essay for Amir that I need to read the prompt more carefully. Sometimes I don't fully read the prompt but I also change the style of my paper halfway through, I realized. Now I can focus my efforts on following the prompt and not just summarizing the text. I also need to proofread my paper better so I can find simple mistakes that can bring down my grade.
After reviewing the comments left by Mr. Baird, I have realized what I must focus on when writing my essay's. My main problem is that I do not include a very good transition after my quotations. One small thing that I need to work on is when using the book title in my essay, I shouldn't underline it. Instead I should italicize it. I think that by realizing my mistakes my future essays will be much better. I feel that reviewing the feedback left by both Mr. Baird and turnitin will benefit me as well as my peers in the long run.
Period 5
Turn-it-in is a very useful website, extremely easy to use and I am able to read my teacher's comments. While viewing my submitted essay to turn it in. I now know to give good background information beforehand, and expand on different ideas/concepts.
After reading the comments Mr. Baird left on turnitin.com i noticed a few things. One always make your citation part of your sentence so it flows nicely and the reading wont have trouble seeing how your argument relates to the quote. The second thing i learned was only to use information that is useful to your readers. If you reference things we did class it is easy to leave a reader(Outside of class) confused. When writing you want your piece to be relevant to all people and not just Mr. Baird or the class. By using turnitin.com it makes it a lot easier to fix spelling and grammar errors. Turnitin.com is a useful site when it come to writing essays
The comments by mr. baird are really going to help me on my next essay. i know that i really need to work on lead and conclusion so the readers are interested. i made many mistakes in my essay that were just me not going over it enough. next time i will remember to reread my work. i also need to make sure my title is not just a reference, but really interesting so i can catch the readers eye. the main thing i am getting out of turnitin.com is that i need to be careful and make sure i revise my work.
I didnt do the essay, but from what I see when I read or hear other people's essays, I see that I write completely different to what others do. I do a simple introduction paragraph and other people do it really good. I need to apply all the types of paragraphs that Mr. Baird has taught me because it will lead me into writing beautiful essays like he probably does. I want to get better in my essays. I should like make a set of order of how I am going to put my essay because I feel like sometimes I put things out of order. On words, I shouldn't repeat them as much because then it just looks like a simple essay so I should imply more vocabulary in it.
After reading my comments by both Mr. Baird and Turnitin i have learned that i need to watch my word use and to make correct word use. These things are important for a good essay. In the future i will reread my essay multiple times to make sure that everything is in the right order.
I know this is late but I am going for it anyways.
I hardly ever reread my work looking for spelling and convention errors, it is also for content revision. The purple comments on Turnitin are mainly conventions so seeing how many there were and reading things that I never even thought to edit was helpful. Mr. Baird's comments are always helpful especially when I try new lead or conclusion techniques because he will tell me if they are being used well and I wouldn't have known that otherwise.
The comments both Mr.Baird and website left taught me a couple of things about my writing. The first is that some of my sentence are constructed in a grammatically wrong way. This could be fixed by simply reading aloud my essay before turning it in. I also need to work on expanding my ideas and elaborating on the examples I use. I sometimes have a hard time expressing my opinion, and using more details could help this problem.
Delaney Barnett
Period 8
After reading the comments from my essay I learned many things about writing. One of my biggest things is rushing through an essay and missing important grammatical and informational details I forget to incorporate. I also need to revise my essay more often and make sure the essay will be appealing to both me and any other readers. As simple as it might be because we do it every time we right an essay, I need to add my Lead and Conclusion and it wouldn't hurt to review them either.
D.J. Collard
8th Period
(This was a second attempt since my first one did not get posted properly)
After reading the comments on Turnitin.com I learned that I need to reread my essay more then once before submitting it. I also learned that I need to better set up my quotations before saying them. I learned that quotations need context before including them in an essay.
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